Let that Shitake go

Don't become attached to what other people say.

Swinging in Nusa Lembongan

I am flying on a wooden swing, overlooking a spectacular beachfront. Surrounded by soft sands. Hammocks. Beanbags. My mind is racing. It’s always racing. Fortunately, on this particular day, the wind is running through my hair, helping me pump the brakes.


The intrigue is tempting, but the aftermath wins me over. I’ve spent the last few days thinking. Living on a mesmerising island full of lovely beaches, calm waters and rocky roads. My heart races as the wheels spin over the uneven grounds. We play the infamous kids’ game, follow the leader, driving around the islands' many turns and hidden crests.

But on this day, we stop. We pay. And we wait.

I spent the next few hours here, sitting and watching. Observing the crowds drinking senselessly. Eating a toasted Jaffle in silence. Watching and waiting. My friends were brave. I was scared. Call me a chicken. Either I couldn't or wouldn't participate. Instead I watched as the mind-altering substances created experiences like none other.


As you observe, you watch and disconnect. You lose yourself. Becoming unattached. Where they feel light, I felt heavy. They feel calm. Feathers. Floating on clouds of heaven. Time was unknown, with everything becoming blurry. I felt stuck. A burning hole inside. I love the sun. The chaos. I am opposite. Feeling the opposite. Being the opposite. For a while, my friends seemed gone, lost in a trance. But then I realised I was just as lost. Lost in a trance of unknown.


As the time past, the sunset, and the effects wore off... my friends came back. I was alone. Stuck in my head. My feelings no longer mattered. But only to myself. I was standing in the bar getting smaller and smaller. Disappearing into the abyss. I was frozen. Stuck. Until my friends came back. The giggles grew quiet. The time grew shorter. And the feathers faded. My guard was down. My experience mirrored theirs. Instead of watching, I subconsciously participated.


In many ways, mushroom is the saddest, sexiest, most exciting thing to take.


But who am I to say.


The reason for me telling you all of this? I’m not entirely sure. All I can share is my takeaways from the few hours of watching…

  1. When you watch, you become part of the event

  2. Sometimes it’s better to stay small

  3. When all else fails, walk away



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